Well, as cliche as that title is, (it sounds rather like a commercial for losing weight at some gym or going on some diet) I really feel like this is going to be a good year. Perhaps its because the awful 2012 is over and I can finally say and fully believe, that life is looking up. I'm scheduled for my follow up appointment after the cardiac cath tomorrow and though I can only hear the outcome being open heart surgery, I'm kind of excited that doctors have finally found the reason behind my shortness of breath and can fix it.
A year. That's how long this has been going on. I'm upset that it was a terrible year on many levels but, I just can only hope it can go up from here, starting with finally having answers and also building a better me. I feel like this entire time has been a test of who I am and what I would have become had I not stepped out and realized some of the mistakes I've been making. I'm hoping that this year is full of second chances, growth as an individual, and just starting to build my life, not necessarily over but starting life after college and pursuing dreams. I want to go back to the individual of strength and no fear. My health doesn't control me and I really wish it I hadn't let it for so long.
I just want to get the surgery done and have a speedy recovery. Right after, I'm hoping to start substitute teaching and then hoping to start school again for my masters in my teaching. During my recovery, hopefully I'll be studying for my praxis exam.
I don't know what to expect in the future other than know that I have a great support system who will always be with me, regardless of my decisions.
One of my good friends said this to me and I can only believe that this is the way I should live daily.
"So my dear friend, leave all your worries behind and focus on the wonderfulness of not knowing and the thrill of what could be."
Whether I'm ready or not, the future is coming and I am welcoming it with open arms.
<3
Jess
No comments:
Post a Comment